Your not Pinoy you don’t understand is something I hear time and time again and not just people directing at me but from other foreigners. It varies in different degrees of the reason its used and at the same time I have heard from other foreigners if your marrying a Filipina don’t expect to be second or even third in line because her relatives will come first then the children then somewhere further down the line is you. If this is the case why are people complaining when there is bad husbands? treat the guy badly and wonder why you get the same treatment? The guy that is accepted as an ATM or a means to an end who not only embraced the Philippines culture and adapted to it in many ways is still just seen as literally nothing by the majority.. do you feel this way?
Its also been used as regards some conversations a friend of mine had with OFW’s in his town as they are all part of the same church. When they are living a poor mans dream. They work hard and are just keeping their head above water but the families back in the Philippines squeeze every ounce of money out of them leaving them tired and the near impossibility of developing a life in the UK. The time I have spent in the Philippines its very obvious that many have a culture of choosing not to work and often if there is an OFW or relative marry a foreigner many people simply will choose never to work again if given the opportunity. It has to be one of the major factors that lead to a divorce between a foreigner and a Filipino. But often I see the fact that people don’t need the amount of money they are requesting from abroad and most if gets wasted. I have only seen my wifes parents embrace the opportunity to a better future. I have spoken to a few Expats at the last gathering I went to and they had a frustration of wives relatives who wouldn’t work and refused to do so. As well as students who at some point dropped out of the education system after being sponsored and asked “are you sure you will complete the course if not we can use the money on something else”. The same topic ended up on another discussion which was “its not my money its Kano money” which is the assumption that people don’t see the money as theirs so this is why it leads to it just being frittered. Which in turn would come back to the “outsider” argument again.
So next time someone says you don’t understand your not FilipinoPinoy it might be worth noting how they see you and how or what your discussing came about. Because if its something that is exploiting your friendship or trust. Then say your right i’m not and you can use the argument from the other way round for example someone asking for money “I’m not Pinoy im a foreigner and in my culture if you respect it you wouldn’t be asking for money”. The under current of emotional blackmail is something that shouldn’t even be looked at but its often the reason people pull the comment out of the hat because there is no other justification for what is or has been done or happened.