Why do Filipinas marry older guys?

Now its something I’ve spent a bit of time trying to come to the answer of and simply there are many reasons why. For some of the women its a case of a way out of poverty and others have found that local guys cheat too much.

Are the women genuine to be honest I think there are a low amount who aren’t. The majority of women are looking for marriage for life and are willing to bring everything they have to the table to be a great wife. There are complications with families and best thing to do is deal with everything before problems can arise. Finding out what your wife is going to do to help her family will be a good thing to discuss before things get complicated and the wedding becomes a nightmare. Because in most cases things can be resolved.  I haven’t met a woman though who isn’t genuine about marriage. They want the marriage, the kids, the house, the car and to be a good wife. I encourage independence in my wife because I love her and the fact is independence also allows her to have her own goals in life. So the guys that think its good to have a wife locked up at home while your at work should firstly look at what makes your wife happy and let her study or progress in life. Some of you may think I’m crazy in that thinking as my wife could leave me for another guy.. but I answer it very simply in the fact my wife is not a bird in a cage, she is my equal. I will help her progress with her life and happiness. Most marriage break ups are down to control and money. I trust my wife and I work hard to create stable finances for our future. In Asian culture women prefer strong men. Not because they want to be dominated but as a head of a household you are to lead the family to its future.

Do they marry for love? I’m not sure to be honest as there is a mix of being chosen as a wife aswell as being thankful. The best answer came from a friend of mine who was talking about his partner which basically said he knows that she isn’t with him because she loves him but in time he hopes she will. I think that pretty much sums it up.

Did my wife marry me for my money? Honestly the answer is no. Infact we were both in relationships for about 6 months before we even looked at becoming an item and me flying out to Cebu. What did we talk about? Well we both had problems in our relationships and had become close as friends so often talked about things most people would find boring such as the weather and what we were doing at that exact moment. I think it was a mix of curiosity aswell as interest because of our cultural differences aswell as the fact we pretty much hit it off from the first moment we met. There was a change in our lives that made a difference we both had something happen that made our thoughts change and a realisation that it wasn’t just friendship we had for each other.

If your 50+ and thinking is it ok to marry a young girl in her 20s personally I think early 20s is a bit young and someone around 30 at least would be a better match but we are all individuals and all have different preferences and thoughts. The main thing is if you decide to have a Filipina partner is that you treat her right.

23 comments for “Why do Filipinas marry older guys?

  1. Tropicalpenpals
    May 13, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Your right there are a lot of scam artists out there and with such things as the economic downturn its likely to increase. But the problem is they are still a minority compared to the number of happy marriages that develop. But bearing in mind this article isnt written from the view of internet dating, its written from the view of people living in the Philippines. I know at least 60 retirees in Cebu who are all in happy relationships. Im aware of around 10 scams that have happened over the last two years. This doesnt include the number of people I know online which makes the scammers a very small group. Although I think there should be a name and shame list of scammers from all the blogs and forums that can be a central database to stop a lot of it.

  2. Matt Wilkie
    May 13, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Your right there are a lot of scam artists out there and with such things as the economic downturn its likely to increase. But the problem is they are still a minority compared to the number of happy marriages that develop. But bearing in mind this article isnt written from the view of internet dating, its written from the view of people living in the Philippines. I know at least 60 retirees in Cebu who are all in happy relationships. Im aware of around 10 scams that have happened over the last two years. This doesnt include the number of people I know online which makes the scammers a very small group. Although I think there should be a name and shame list of scammers from all the blogs and forums that can be a central database to stop a lot of it.

  3. John Hall
    May 14, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Hello,
     
     
     
    I haven’t really met anyone trying to scam me yet. But I just turned 24 years old and live here. As far as dating someone in thier 30’s. I was in a amazing relationship with a 33 year old flipina in the United states. She rocked my world and she was very beautiful. I think the older men should have no problem finding a very pretty girl in her early 30’s and should be content with that. A 30 year old has found herself and is blooming at that age hormonally and it was a great fit for me. Now I am dating a girl that lives with me thats 20 and shes good also. Still alittle childish for me so Its hard for me to see how someone in thier 50’s could take on someone still in child mode with such a childish mindset because sometimes my girlfriend acts like a child and I am still really young! Honestly if I am in my 50’s 20 is way to young for me!

  4. John Hall
    May 14, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Hello,
     
     
     
    I haven’t really met anyone trying to scam me yet. But I just turned 24 years old and live here. As far as dating someone in thier 30’s. I was in a amazing relationship with a 33 year old flipina in the United states. She rocked my world and she was very beautiful. I think the older men should have no problem finding a very pretty girl in her early 30’s and should be content with that. A 30 year old has found herself and is blooming at that age hormonally and it was a great fit for me. Now I am dating a girl that lives with me thats 20 and shes good also. Still alittle childish for me so Its hard for me to see how someone in thier 50’s could take on someone still in child mode with such a childish mindset because sometimes my girlfriend acts like a child and I am still really young! Honestly if I am in my 50’s 20 is way to young for me!

  5. Tom
    May 15, 2009 at 3:28 am

    There are lots of reasons why people get together even those in widely separated age groups. Love, money, stability. I agree that most girls in their early 20’s lack maturity but that is not an absolute either. As long as both parties are satisfied with the relationship it is their own business. 😎

  6. Tom
    May 15, 2009 at 3:28 am

    There are lots of reasons why people get together even those in widely separated age groups. Love, money, stability. I agree that most girls in their early 20’s lack maturity but that is not an absolute either. As long as both parties are satisfied with the relationship it is their own business. 😎

  7. Tropicalpenpals
    May 15, 2009 at 9:30 am

    The article is based on majority.. there is always exceptions. Also remember the number of women that have killed theyre partners that isnt in the article either because its minority although online it seems to be a majority of scammers and murderers but the truth is thats the minority.
     
    Does the age gap make a difference? Well I know plenty of expats in happy relationships but I also think that expats need to mix more especially with other expats of similar backgrounds etc. as its also helpful for partners  as they can discuss with other women the issues that develop especially from the family side.

  8. Matt Wilkie
    May 15, 2009 at 9:30 am

    The article is based on majority.. there is always exceptions. Also remember the number of women that have killed theyre partners that isnt in the article either because its minority although online it seems to be a majority of scammers and murderers but the truth is thats the minority.
     
    Does the age gap make a difference? Well I know plenty of expats in happy relationships but I also think that expats need to mix more especially with other expats of similar backgrounds etc. as its also helpful for partners  as they can discuss with other women the issues that develop especially from the family side.

  9. elaine
    June 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    the case of filipina women marrying expats/ foreigners for money  should not be taken as a generalization of all Filipino women. Some expats perhaps meet these types of women in the wrong places. I know a lot of gorgeous, intelligent and educated pinay who wouldn’t see themselves dating outside of their race. In fact whenever we see expatriates we often asked ourselves if they have bathe or were circumcized (well this attributed to our catholic upbringing).

  10. elaine
    June 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    the case of filipina women marrying expats/ foreigners for money  should not be taken as a generalization of all Filipino women. Some expats perhaps meet these types of women in the wrong places. I know a lot of gorgeous, intelligent and educated pinay who wouldn’t see themselves dating outside of their race. In fact whenever we see expatriates we often asked ourselves if they have bathe or were circumcized (well this attributed to our catholic upbringing).

  11. Tropicalpenpals
    June 8, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Your right its not a generalisation, I wouldnt marry for money and neither would my wife. But there are literally thousands of women leaving the Philippines each year and the majority met people online. Not only to the West but many are moving to Japan and China. But in a population of around 90 million and over 5,000 leaving its not a significant number. I do believe that a lot of the older, younger mixes are based on nothing more than a way out of poverty or to help family but your right the majority of people wouldnt think twice of marrying an older foreigner. The other thing you have to look at is the poverty level is so high in the Philippines do you think more women will look to move abroad because of realising they can get a better life for themselves and family?

  12. TropicalPenpals
    June 8, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Your right its not a generalisation, I wouldnt marry for money and neither would my wife. But there are literally thousands of women leaving the Philippines each year and the majority met people online. Not only to the West but many are moving to Japan and China. But in a population of around 90 million and over 5,000 leaving its not a significant number. I do believe that a lot of the older, younger mixes are based on nothing more than a way out of poverty or to help family but your right the majority of people wouldnt think twice of marrying an older foreigner. The other thing you have to look at is the poverty level is so high in the Philippines do you think more women will look to move abroad because of realising they can get a better life for themselves and family?

  13. Guest
    August 20, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    where do you meet each other anyway?

  14. Guest
    August 20, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    where do you meet each other anyway?

  15. Phred
    November 3, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    Interesting article and since no real statistics exists to back-up claims either in favor or against, we must rely on observation and anecdotal evidence. My wife is 55 (one year younger than me), but has many younger filipina friends married to older foreigners. Filipinas will confide in other Filipinas about their lives. It is interesting that almost all the younger wives admit to having boyfriends on the side. The husbands are completely unaware, and will tell me that they have found a wife that finally they are happy with.
    So I guess if you listen to the husband, the marriage is great. If you listen to the wife, the marriage is not so great.
    The stories that the young wives tell are quite fascinating. They do not have any respect for their husbands and admit to using him for their gain.
    I think there are many foreigners out there in denial or in a haze as to what is really going on in their marriage. They are so happy to have a young wife, that anything else doesn’t really matter, as many have said that having a young wife was the top priority in choosing her. They based their entire selection on age.
    Also as others have said, most self-respecting Filipinas from the higher social classes would NEVER consider marrying a foreigner, let alone a much older one. So we can conclude that the pool that foreigners are choosing from are girls motivated by something other than love.
    I have a friend that runs a small introduction service for Filipinas/foreigners. He did a survey with each girl that found a mate. He asked the girls if they were truly in love with the guy. Almost all said “no”. They were doing it to get out of the Philippines and to have a chance to help their family, and that maybe over time they might fall in love with their husbands.

  16. Phred
    November 3, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    Interesting article and since no real statistics exists to back-up claims either in favor or against, we must rely on observation and anecdotal evidence. My wife is 55 (one year younger than me), but has many younger filipina friends married to older foreigners. Filipinas will confide in other Filipinas about their lives. It is interesting that almost all the younger wives admit to having boyfriends on the side. The husbands are completely unaware, and will tell me that they have found a wife that finally they are happy with.
    So I guess if you listen to the husband, the marriage is great. If you listen to the wife, the marriage is not so great.
    The stories that the young wives tell are quite fascinating. They do not have any respect for their husbands and admit to using him for their gain.
    I think there are many foreigners out there in denial or in a haze as to what is really going on in their marriage. They are so happy to have a young wife, that anything else doesn’t really matter, as many have said that having a young wife was the top priority in choosing her. They based their entire selection on age.
    Also as others have said, most self-respecting Filipinas from the higher social classes would NEVER consider marrying a foreigner, let alone a much older one. So we can conclude that the pool that foreigners are choosing from are girls motivated by something other than love.
    I have a friend that runs a small introduction service for Filipinas/foreigners. He did a survey with each girl that found a mate. He asked the girls if they were truly in love with the guy. Almost all said “no”. They were doing it to get out of the Philippines and to have a chance to help their family, and that maybe over time they might fall in love with their husbands.

  17. joan
    November 9, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Hey man, are you not married to a Filipina?Where did you meet each other? If anyone decides to marry someone who can’t provide for a family that person is completely idiot, another moron! Therefore, it is wise and practical to say that in these days you have to marry someone you love and someone who is financially stable, someone who makes money, regardless of age and race.

    Somehow in your article you created the impression of Filipinas marrying older men for money, the truth that foreigners who misrepresent themselves as someone who is stable in the financial world when in reality they don’t is indispensable. A clear example of that is someone who represents himself as an engineer when in reality he is a carpenter.

    Another thing I would like you to ponder on is this, do you think if you don’t have the money to bring yourself to the Philippines, your wife can afford to bring you over?

    If you cared to ask why Filipinas marry older guys, why not ask the opposite question:Why do older guys marry Filipinas? I can’t generalize with my answer but for sure many of these older guys failed in their previous marriages and they are hopeful that getting a Filipina for a wife will change things.

  18. joan
    November 9, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Hey man, are you not married to a Filipina?Where did you meet each other? If anyone decides to marry someone who can’t provide for a family that person is completely idiot, another moron! Therefore, it is wise and practical to say that in these days you have to marry someone you love and someone who is financially stable, someone who makes money, regardless of age and race.

    Somehow in your article you created the impression of Filipinas marrying older men for money, the truth that foreigners who misrepresent themselves as someone who is stable in the financial world when in reality they don’t is indispensable. A clear example of that is someone who represents himself as an engineer when in reality he is a carpenter.

    Another thing I would like you to ponder on is this, do you think if you don’t have the money to bring yourself to the Philippines, your wife can afford to bring you over?

    If you cared to ask why Filipinas marry older guys, why not ask the opposite question:Why do older guys marry Filipinas? I can’t generalize with my answer but for sure many of these older guys failed in their previous marriages and they are hopeful that getting a Filipina for a wife will change things.

  19. Tropicalpenpals
    November 10, 2009 at 7:34 am

    To be honest with you from what Ive seen over the last few years its a 2 way street. Ive met Filipinas looking for husbands online while they court a boyfriend in the Philippines. Ive met guys who beat the girlfriends, cheat, etc. The point of the article was to start a debate but also to get people thinking. Because there is no such thing as a Filipina in the general sense unless you are only saying a woman from the Philippines. The reason being every person is different like anywhere else in the world. Why do older guys marry a Filipina? Because they know the chances are unless they live at the playboy mansion they wouldnt get a second look elsewhere.

    My main point is to get people thinking aswell as get more broad feedback from someone like yourself. The lying about wealth etc by a guy is something you will find any expat who lives in the Philippines will generally go against simply because that sort of impression can get you killed or at least robbed. So I would always advise anyone even if they have the money to play it down. Someone lying about what they do is also an odd one.. because also depends when or what they were doing at the time.. You put an example of Carpenter but in any Bluechip company that contracts in a large maintenance group the carpenter is called a “Fabric Engineer” as generalisation and multi-trade has happened over the last 10 years. I myself was a carpenter before but I am also an electronics engineer, surveyor and even done business and retail & pub management. In reality I could have 16 letters after my name. But for what? Same goes for older generation no doubt many have had several jobs over the years which has built up. What is relative is the full history of what they have done with their life for compatibility. The issue should be if people are brought out of the Philippines to a world that is opposite to what they expect. But this isnt just a problem that foreigners create many OFW`s suffer with the gold syndrome where families are expecting lots to be sent back because the daughter for example is living in Australia, U.S. , UK etc. The cost of living isnt even taken into consideration by the family.

    Where do i sit in all this personally? I met my wife by chance if you read the first articles to TP everything is in there.

  20. Matt Wilkie
    November 10, 2009 at 7:34 am

    To be honest with you from what Ive seen over the last few years its a 2 way street. Ive met Filipinas looking for husbands online while they court a boyfriend in the Philippines. Ive met guys who beat the girlfriends, cheat, etc. The point of the article was to start a debate but also to get people thinking. Because there is no such thing as a Filipina in the general sense unless you are only saying a woman from the Philippines. The reason being every person is different like anywhere else in the world. Why do older guys marry a Filipina? Because they know the chances are unless they live at the playboy mansion they wouldnt get a second look elsewhere.

    My main point is to get people thinking aswell as get more broad feedback from someone like yourself. The lying about wealth etc by a guy is something you will find any expat who lives in the Philippines will generally go against simply because that sort of impression can get you killed or at least robbed. So I would always advise anyone even if they have the money to play it down. Someone lying about what they do is also an odd one.. because also depends when or what they were doing at the time.. You put an example of Carpenter but in any Bluechip company that contracts in a large maintenance group the carpenter is called a “Fabric Engineer” as generalisation and multi-trade has happened over the last 10 years. I myself was a carpenter before but I am also an electronics engineer, surveyor and even done business and retail & pub management. In reality I could have 16 letters after my name. But for what? Same goes for older generation no doubt many have had several jobs over the years which has built up. What is relative is the full history of what they have done with their life for compatibility. The issue should be if people are brought out of the Philippines to a world that is opposite to what they expect. But this isnt just a problem that foreigners create many OFW`s suffer with the gold syndrome where families are expecting lots to be sent back because the daughter for example is living in Australia, U.S. , UK etc. The cost of living isnt even taken into consideration by the family.

    Where do i sit in all this personally? I met my wife by chance if you read the first articles to TP everything is in there.

  21. Tropicalpenpals
    November 10, 2009 at 7:35 am

    1. But why dont I move to the Philippines full time? – I have a daughter in the UK who I visit which is why im in 2 countries.

    2. Can I Support my wife? – I started partnership businesses in Cebu. My wife is self supporting in the
    months I have been in the UK only money I needed to send are for construction and expansion of the family businesses.

    3. Why dont I bring my wife to the UK? – The UK has lost its way and being exploited by the EU. Its an
    expensive country with little future at the moment. I think our chances are better the way we work. As we can keep living costs low. As well as develop businesses that arent bled to death by the UK Govt.
     You can also look at it from the other perspective in the fact im helping to develop an area in the Philippines where I live. You tried to do that in the UK?? Kids are into gang culture etc and its unlikely to change for the better. At least where I live the parents of any kids are still respected by the children.

    4. Am I against old / young marriages ? – Simply no as all I ask is people spend a bit more time thinking about what they are doing. Marriage should be a once in a lifetime experience. Otherwise its just a pointless piece of paper. Happiness is hard to find so making sure youve got it right with the right person and they feel the same “for real” is important.

  22. Matt Wilkie
    November 10, 2009 at 7:35 am

    1. But why dont I move to the Philippines full time? – I have a daughter in the UK who I visit which is why im in 2 countries.

    2. Can I Support my wife? – I started partnership businesses in Cebu. My wife is self supporting in the
    months I have been in the UK only money I needed to send are for construction and expansion of the family businesses.

    3. Why dont I bring my wife to the UK? – The UK has lost its way and being exploited by the EU. Its an
    expensive country with little future at the moment. I think our chances are better the way we work. As we can keep living costs low. As well as develop businesses that arent bled to death by the UK Govt.
     You can also look at it from the other perspective in the fact im helping to develop an area in the Philippines where I live. You tried to do that in the UK?? Kids are into gang culture etc and its unlikely to change for the better. At least where I live the parents of any kids are still respected by the children.

    4. Am I against old / young marriages ? – Simply no as all I ask is people spend a bit more time thinking about what they are doing. Marriage should be a once in a lifetime experience. Otherwise its just a pointless piece of paper. Happiness is hard to find so making sure youve got it right with the right person and they feel the same “for real” is important.

  23. Nick
    December 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Because they just golddiggerrsss!