Who am i to marry a Filipina?

Our Wedding at Minglanilla,Cebu,Philippines

There is a misconception that generally guys heading to the Philippines are perverts or child abusers and also that Filipino women are all scammers or out to make money from relationships. The truth is far from this, Its like reading a newspaper article if you based what you see in a Newspaper we would all be branded murderers or thieves at the end of the day press only put what sells. Regardless of truth or other things of interest. Because knowing people are happy doesnt interest a reader. Knowing that a murderer killed 5 children will be in the headlines and a topic of discussion in most work places at some point in the day. The same can be said about the press with the Foreigner – Philippine marriages and relationships. Thousands of people leave the Philippine islands each year looking for work or through marriage. But only the minority have failed marriages. Which makes me wonder why there is such a hang up on this subject and there is one major fact that most guys who head to the philippines are not on first marriage they have seperated and headed for a new start in life. Most have money either via pension or from what was left in the wallet after a divorce. Point being its guys who have had enough with the system in the West. There are a large number of ex-military who have been to asia before and fell in love with it on first visit. So in a divorce where are you likely to go? Maybe to times that have good happy memories when life was carefree and the people around you were happy.
Also the laws although Anti-Foreign are also Anti-spouse so the 50/50 that guys get robbed for in the West. Isnt an issue. Im not one to grumble on this subject because i dont really care about money as long as i have my health i can work. But i still dont see why guys should give up 50%. Its ok saying that the ex-spouse looked after the kids etc. But nothing is ever taking into account of what is really done. If she was in full-time employment with no kids where would her career likely be? Either way the guys lose out.
Getting back to the main subject, The dispute caused by ex-partners are not only the fact that she no longer has control of her ex husband and that hes up and left for a better life.
More importantly the guy she blames for everything wrong in her life is happy how dare he!! And with a woman a third of her size and a lot more beautiful than she could ever be even under the knife. So to get revenge the lies get spouted. Same goes for guys who get divorced and blame their pinay for what went wrong. A lot of these issues are not with the women from the Philippines but the fact you introduced them to western women and western ways. Suddenly your wife no longer wants to do the cooking. Doesnt see why she needs to work and take care of the kids.. the list goes on.

Now before someone starts going im sexist and what right have i to stop pinays leaving RP to head to a better life in Europe or the U.S. ill reply by giving the reason.
The reason being the West isnt good for anyone. Its based on selfish greed and isolated plastic social meetings. You say hi to most people you know in your road but do you know them? Saying “hi” is an opening for a conversation yet you walk passed or drive away each day without even talking. Because you have to be somewhere and its of no importance to you.
That is the West. In the Philippines too much materialistic crap can be dangerous and at the end of the day what is it really? Just gimmicks sold to us via an industry geared to churn out goods year after year.The money you saved on buying a pair of Nike trainers for £90.00 is a months rent in the Philippines. I often sit around in Cebu talking with almost anyone because the difference there is people like you and like to talk. People find me a bit odd in the UK because i have mainly foreign friends. Because my UK friends to be honest are pretty crap. You hear from them when they need something the rest of the time nothing.
But friends from other backgrounds are different because although moved to the west have kept many of their traditional family values that are needed to get through lifes trials. They know the importance of
real friendship.

So who is right or wrong? Well do i see myself as a person who overpowered my wife because im a westerner of great wealth or am i pervert? Answer to both questions is no. We met by chance and at the time were both dating other people. We just became close friends discussing things that were or are important in our lives. After a few major things happend in our lives we realised what we mean to each other and became an item. My wife was content in the Philippines although had problems with a previous relationship and wasnt directly persuing a foreign husband. April ran up phone bills just to call me and spent most of
her spare time talking together and when we are apart we miss each other badly. April is in no rush to leave the Philippines but i cant wait to get back. Are these the actions of the average UK-RP Marriage? I think so.
but would such an article make you want to read it if a news headline? Very unlikely. Happiness has a cost and that is no one else is interested except close family.

3 comments for “Who am i to marry a Filipina?

  1. TropicalPenpals
    June 12, 2010 at 6:18 am

    [New Post] Who am i to marry a Filipina? .

  2. July 18, 2011 at 2:50 am

    my sister married a belgian and she’s now in belgium. will be flying to belgium soon to visit her. i’ll get to experience what west is like then. based from my sister, neighbors are nice though.

  3. July 18, 2011 at 3:00 am

    Hi Love 2 Type,
    the big thing is every one is different and also regions. I have been to many parts of Europe and lived in several countries and every country differs as well as different areas of countries. There are a few stereotypes that fit many countries at the same time even when you see them you notice that they do a lot of things that don’t. Its based on perception. E.g. if your looking for people to be a specific way you notice it but if your not looking for that you never would.

    Its a bit like the negativity online about Filipino women and marriages. You don’t hear many people say “my marriage is great and my wife is too”. You will hear a lot of disgruntled people that got divorced and blame the wife for all the problems. They forget to mention that was probably wife number 3 or 4!! Which if they had mentioned that its pretty obvious 9/10 its unlikely the woman was the problem.