This is one of the biggest cause of arguments on forums and websites within the Expat communities and its down to personal views rather than observations. See for the average Expat coming to the Philippines they make a lot of mistakes and will blame them solely on the girl they met. At the same time scamming the foreigner is an industry that has become very lucrative. So what is my view? People are people and everything I am writing below are “facts” from the various people and groups of people I know, they are examples of what can go wrong and I will mix it with different peoples faults as common sense should play a bigger part in peoples lives more than anything else. I have a lot of Filipino friends both male and female who like the blog based on the fact its frank rather than the oh aren’t people wonderful, come to the Philippines where the sun always shines, the beaches glisten and the women never stop smiling just waiting for you to arrive.. here is the sound affect of an old vinyl record cutting across a record as reality kicks in with the truth.
A friend of mine is currently residing in a location if he had known more about the Philippines in advance and the peoples attitudes he may never have come. One thing is for sure if he hadn’t been miss led by people telling him how he could “live like a king in paradise” he would have had a fighting chance. Now stuck here with property that he doesn’t legally own he’s also seen how his wife coaches her daughter on how to scam foreigners online for money. Well for the wife its a natural trait because its how she paid for her children’s education. For my friend its difficult to leave as he would be kissing goodbye to his investment in the house even though leaving sort of makes the most sense to be happy. Not that the wife is generally bad but simply the fact the foreigner is an ATM does she love her husband I don’t know but at the same time if she’s coaching a daughter on how to exploit foreigners for cash does she even understand the moral dilema or even care?
A few weeks ago I was with my personal shopper and she out the blue asked if I had any foreign single friends that would like her as she wanted to settle down. I mentioned I hadn’t heard of anyone looking to meet someone but she gave me her email address anyway to keep in touch. Emailing her I thought I would also see if she had a Facebook account at which point I found some photos on an account with children. When I asked if she was married before she said no and that she had no children. But when I emailed asking why her name was different on her Facebook and are they her nieces she was with she told me the truth that her husband left several years ago and she had 2 kids. Now I wasn’t prying it was just a case of easier to contact people via Facebook now what if this was a guy all set for marriage and settling down at what stage would the truth coming out?
I was sat in LBC around 2 years ago when an old American guy came in with a couple of teenagers as they sat there it became obvious he had been milked for what they could get. He looked old and frail yet was with a girl no older than 18 as they chatted between themselves and then to him it become apparent he had been living with the girl for around a year moved in, furnished the house etc. and was all happy families with the girls parents downstairs. Now the reason they were in LBC is that the parents had decided to get rid of the old man for some reason which wasn’t too obvious except that he wasn’t allowed to go back to the house and she wasn’t going to be staying with him after today. Had he been setup to be taken upside down, shaken until all the money fell out then dumped who knows I just know he was now broke and unlikely to see a penny of anything he invested. By the sounds of it he had bought a house although can’t confirm this as I wasn’t invited into the conversation I was just waiting for a parcel.
This is something I came across via someone else. An American came out to the Philippines for a year as his wife’s family were very poor and he built up several businesses and invested several million pesos. Not big in Western money but the family were more than happy as they now had several good investments. After having to go back to the U.S. to work he then sorted out his wife’s paperwork to go with him and it was at this point his wife refused to leave the Philippines. Why? because the main reason she was interested in a foreigner in the first place was to help her family now she had done that and the fact they were sustainable she felt no need to go to the U.S. as she had more now than she had ever wanted. She could quite literally have her cake and eat it. He’s now filing for divorce.
I have at least 40 other short stories I could add but the point is in each scenario its different. I also haven’t added the positive side purely because the blog itself is a “positive side” to life here and the fact the many people I do know are successful and happy here. What they will all say is they learned lessons along the way. Which is why common sense has a lot to do with things because mentality in many people is different and its not just women its in general. Workers who break things because its not theirs, people who steal because they know you can afford it (they think you can), people who come begging for money even though they don’t need it because they know your a soft touch. An example of the last one by the way was a charity funded scholarship program where it was supposed to help the poorest of the poor all the teachers put their children on the shortlist for free food and scholarship for the year above people in dire poverty. I am not bashing the Philippines by the way its based on events that have happened and my broader version is simply to take everything with a pinch of salt as its the only way to find out if people are doing something they shouldn’t.