Money seems to be the biggest reason for problems to happen for people everything from the expat who marries the wrong type of girl to the OFW being exploited by relatives for paying for their education years earlier.
Its the same as giving things away nobody seems to appreciate it. On fiesta I gave some free hours to my regular customers in the internet cafe and days after they start asking for free time. Point is its often seen as a weakness. Now I still do things from time to time like tipping P1,500 worth of rock into the road or a spa day for the girls but generally people don’t expect it. If they did they wouldn’t receive anything. What you learn over time is most things aren’t your problem and people will from time to time try and drag you into things you shouldn’t be involved in. Mike’s post about relatives before asking for money for medicines is a prime example of how some people are. They don’t know him personally and they don’t approach with a please and leave with a thank you they just expect the foreigner to cough up with money because we are a cash cow.. a walking ATM. Moving along with that mentality of people abusing you for money is the way forward as generally there is very few things I have seen outside of close family that aren’t revolving around cash.
Charity events or fundraisers where you see cash siphoned off and in a very obvious way e.g. they don’t tell you total raised! even though local businesses have most of the time covered the events costs meaning anything raised goes straight in someone’s pocket. School sponsorship programs where there is administration fees siphoned off even if there is no need or justification for it except to grab the cash.
How I find to deal with most situations is I don’t put my name to charities or any organizations because simply I can’t trust them. When people tell you not to develop things yourself (because your doing it for free and not letting anyone’s hands on the cash) because it embarrasses officials who should be doing it. You know not to bother where its not needed. Doesn’t mean I halt my little projects just means I don’t bother asking others to get involved. Partly why I share some of the information as its good for others to copy “themselves!” and that way it spreads while removing corruption from getting its grubby claws on hard earned cash.
On the friendship side it is also an issue which is why I am happy to share information and several times this year and last people have asked to invest in various things that I have declined their money. Its not I don’t trust them its the fact nothing is guaranteed here and I won’t let anyone invest in something that has a high risk. I prefer to just take my time and let things develop while keeping the friends that may go sour if the investments did. But you will often find people here asking you to invest in things before they are even friends which is the time to just keep them at a distance.
Removing money from most things keeps hassles out of life, buying the big house and the shiny new car often creates jealousy from neighborhoods unless your one of the poorer people in it. Either way sitting on a low profile often means people don’t really notice you and they often find it odd here that I actually walk to places rather than use the public transport. Reason being is a bit of exercise on top of the fact peddle cabs aren’t exactly the most comfortable of vehicles for someone of my build.
The world owes you no favours and you owe none of the people in it either so don’t get bogged down in helping people out as often they are just looking for a constant hand out. They were doing ok before you arrived and if you start giving money, food away you start to see how bitter they become if you stop as they move from the smiles of receiving to expecting a free hand out and told no. There is enough money here, there is enough aid, resources and no famine. The problems are political and financially based and you didn’t create that and certainly can have little hand in fixing it so best advice is just not get involved.