There is one debate that every politician avoids like the plague. Because its more than likely to cause political suicide. The debate is fathers rights and how they are so displaced in today’s society.
I have watched TV documentaries discussing the class system and how it fits into society. All that seemed to be followed is the “benefit class” who are generally people who are unemployed,unemployable or got no interest in ever having a job. But what about the divide that has developed since the 60s as things started to mess with the education and political system that now has kids that struggle to read or write and little knowledge of their own country. What about the divide caused by women’s rights which have pretty much destroyed equality in society. There is a class that doesn’t grumble but gets on with life they are the “Bedsit class” which are the divorced males who have been swindled out of life with a bad divorce and a biast legal system. Hard working and living in a Studio apartment which really means a room with a sink in a shared house which normally has a mix of students and drug addicts as neighbours they are the forgotten in society. Working to pay their ex partners for “child maintenance” which in most cases see`s the woman not needing to work as the guy will pick up the tab. If he complains no doubt an arguement will develop and access to his children will be made difficult as its the easiest way to screw him over and force the last bits of money out of him. Welcome to the UK!
I have friends who live like the above and its one of the reasons I would never be part of that society anymore. Because lets face it what ex wants to see you happy? I was discussing the fact with a friend at work a few months ago where she had come from a bad split and found out her ex has a new girlfriend. The first concern was “how did the new girl look”. It was a positive feedback to find out the girl was ugly and my friend was happy. We then discussed what it was about the woman and the truth was no woman wants a successful and happy ex they want them to suffer. May sound a bit odd so would be nice for some comments on here to back it up..lol but I experienced the same myself, my ex became bitter knowing I am happy and had moved on and its the category of “bedsit class” are the ones that are stuck in limbo because of the crap divorce and no doubt got a lazy ex who is sitting on his money until the kids reach 16 and he can stop paying. At what point does a woman become disabled and unable to work? as soon as she gives birth or before that? Im not against all women btw I just seek equality. In any separation the “ABILITY” to work should be taken into account and deducted from the child maintenance as simply there are a lot of “part-time” and full-time jobs out there that the parasite women could do and actually be a benefit to society. I am well aware there are women who do work and bring up kids on their own. Some of them struggle to get payments and may not even know where theyre ex is. But I am not talking about those women I am talking about the ones who stop these guys moving on in life. They are bled to death by allowance payments and for what? a Saturday morning with his kids?
Personally I looked at some of my friends lives and couldn’t see me living like that I would rather put a noose round my neck. Its an acceptance of loss to a society who doesn’t want you but wants your money, to an ex that keeps you on tight reigns. To hell with that if you haven’t ventured into Asia before book your holiday this year and if you want to come to Cebu I will help you organise your trip.
If this seems a bit off topic today its simply because I am having one of those days where things are niggling at me from the UK. Nothing to make me mad but just frustration. But its also a frustration I know many others have. But the choice is you can be miserable in a bed-sit until you get old and somebody smells that stale odour from under your door that can only be described as a body left rotting for a few weeks. Or you can come to Asia and seek out a new life. It isn’t easy but your life in the UK isn’t either difference is here you have sunshine and if you can secure a small pension you can live month to month without being overstretched financially. Also the ability to hop back to the UK for a few months a year to top up the finances keeps you ahead of the game.
The hard bit is not seeing your kids and its something very familiar to a lot of expats. Most I have met have been robbed blind in divorce and pretty much lost everything they own all here for the same reason a better life and a better future. I know what I would prefer my daughter Nicole seeing a father who has achieved and secured her future than a father that sits in a bed-sit on his days off and just looking towards the weekends to see her. Life never throws fair cards and many decisions are hard. But the valuation is on how I can secure a future for my family (family being my daughters, wife, parents and in-laws). Difference I found here in the Philippines though is people want to help and develop.