Poverty, Happiness and the dollar

I hear it a lot especially when you are back in the UK, racist comments and jokes regarding marrying a Filipina but also Thai and other women from Asia get the same insults. Sometimes its narrow-minded guys who have little experience further than dipping a toe in the sea at a Spanish resort but also bitter ex-partners.. But what is the truth? Why do so many western men go to Asia and why do Asian women marry them? Some of it is to do with poverty in many relationships as at the end of the day a guy marrying someone 20+ years his junior there has to be a reality check along the way. But people also miss the fact that if you speak to the women they want to “grow to love him” over time. Asian culture is firstly about survival and reality before choice and freedom. But I would ask you what really is freedom?? Did anyone in the West actually want to bail the banks out to keep the rich rich?? Did anyone ask YOU as a citizen is it ok to enter Iraq or Afghanistan for war?? No?? Well where is your freedom?

The reality for many in the Philippines is life isn’t just hard its something that would break many others but each day you will find a smile on everyone’s face even though they are living in some of the worst conditions you could imagine. The foreigner is a way out.. but also the woman is aware the guy is turning her life around and lifting her and her family from poverty. I know there is a lot of stories about the negative side but the truth is there is more negative about Asian women being beaten by foreign husbands than women taking the guy for a full.. In general most women are faithful and loyal as well as keen to be a wife and a family unit. The problem is sometimes they are too good and this is where a lot of the problems happen. But it happens from both sides the guy slips into Philippines customs and the wife will start meeting Filipino friends in the west that change things for independence. But the truth is the family unit should remain as long as you work things through together. The biggest killer of any relationship is a lack of communication and I think this is where problems arise. But I believe for the majority they would have a much happier marriage with a woman from Asia than a western wife mainly down to cultural mixes.. It gives the husband in the relationship more responsibility as a husband but in return he is treated well. But in return you have to treat your wife well. Otherwise don’t post when you get a divorce because its likely to be mainly down to you! not your wife..

In the culture a marriage is generally for life but like most things it depends where you also marry in society. e.g. marry a bargirl that has suffered with abuse most of her life she is a lot more solid and money motivated than a middle class woman seeking a better life and fulfilment who is likely to stay for life.

I think the stereotypes still exist in the West because no ex-wife wants to see her ex husband happy with a woman 10 years her junior slim and sexy where she gained 40lbs. The guys in the bar have limited experience of the world and if you asked them about the woman they are talking about “what is her name?” they are unlikely to even be able to answer that question.

From reality.. I have friends who are in China,Malaysia,Thailand and the Philippines and for the majority they came for a 2 week holiday then went home packed the bags sold the house and came back.. that should pretty much answer the question on how the “real” people of experience feel about Asia and its people’s.

Happiness I have seen from a 19-year-old girl married to a 70-year-old guy down to small gaps such as me and my wife of 6 years. A lot of it is how you treat each other, making time each day just to enjoy each others company and making each other know you are loved. Also getting things in common its one of those things that do go wrong in relationships is the guy marries a girl he doesn’t even know more than a few days or the fact they have nothing in common. Marriage should be for life so look at it that way! if you do you are likely to find the one woman who can make you happy until you’re dying days as many have done already. Happiness isn’t found it just happens.. but with the wrong mix you will just keep making the same mistakes.

The dollar is a problem with some people because of the poverty. I’ve discussed my triangle before on a previous post and I think it’s the way everyone should look at it unless you want problems in your relationship because sooner or later they will happen. But many can be stopped by simply working within the triangles boundaries allowing you only to support your primary then secondary family first. You can’t help everyone so don’t try be realistic otherwise you are going to cause family issues as well as marriage problems.