Matt can you find me a foreign husband? its a regular question from some Filipina friends.

Question is can I legally and if so would I? The anti “mail order bride” or anti dating is a bit of an awkward thing to even want to be getting tagged as trying to arrange meet up’s etc for people coming from abroad to meet local women but also the fact that if a friend in the UK or anywhere else was looking to meet someone here its down to compatibility not that the women are beautiful here which would actually make sense in matching before they arrive. Reason being I know a large number of people that married very quickly without even looking at how they matched on personalities they just see the fact this beautiful woman wants me.. mr nobody back in the West where this girl actually wants to take care of me and more often than not believes sex is a duty with the husband.

Sounds mad I know but its true a bolding 50 something (being polite) marrying a 20 something and the fact that they haven’t even worked out if they can go back to the guys home country (yet the girl often sees this as her part of the deal of marriage). Went to a wedding before where the guy is bankrupt his wife can’t go to the UK because of his financial status not just the bankruptcy but general finances, she thought she was marrying some business entrepenuer. I haven’t been involved in arranged weddings, marriages, or anything else along those lines by the way so don’t start thinking I am introducing people left right and centre.

But recently girls have been asking me and I know of some guys who are looking for “good” partners. More often than not they haven’t been successful with women and generally I don’t think most of the problems have been the guys its just the way the UK is going these days unfortunate but true. On the girls side here its been the same when talking to them they seemed filled with disappointment more than anything when they talk about previous relationships which is why they are looking for foreign husbands they have given up on the local men.

So when does something go from introducing someone to actually breaking the “mail order bribe” laws? I just wonder as its obviously a thin line that isn’t so clear..

9 comments for “Matt can you find me a foreign husband? its a regular question from some Filipina friends.

  1. John McGregor
    January 31, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Matt, I get the same requests from friends and friends of friends over here in UK, asking if i will take them with me the next time I go to visit Cebu. Somehow they think that they will just arrive at the Hotel and the girls are just lined up for them to choose from. It doesnt work like that, maybe yes if your just looking for a ‘mate’ for a few weeks, but to find a wife, and a good wife at that, you must spend a lot more time looking / talking / getting to know a girl before promising anything to her.
    On the other flip side of the coin, I get requests from some beautiful local village girls, asking me if I have any friends for them back in UK. I tell them there are many, but they need to find them for themselves. I think it would be just so much hassle, and the reputation that would stick with you if it didn’t work out for them. I say each to thier own,.. you don’t know how any of your friends will interact with a girl from a very differant culture, maybe even get blasted for introducing someone who thought your judgement was way far off what they were expecting from your description. UK/Filipina marriages are not for everyone,.. I just think I’m lucky to have found the right girl for me,.. without lots of looking / trying out others, etc..

    • Tropicalpenpals
      January 31, 2011 at 9:36 pm

      Thing is with any introduction it would be online and basically wouldn’t want them to meet for a couple of months until they started to at least try to get to know each other. The cultural differences are huge and often the family issues create complete nightmares for people. Mixed marriages in the UK also creates another set of issues but from both perspectives I can see that if people do hit it off and get on there is a future they wouldn’t have otherwise.

  2. swazzer100S
    February 1, 2011 at 6:13 am

    I`ve experienced this first hand, while having already bought a house and lot and only visiting from Bahrain with josie a couple of times a year, was asked for a pen pal, so like the idiot i can be complied, a good Friend chit chatted with the girl, and her script writers, naturally the guy opens up as to what he`s looking for, they just tailor their story to fit his needs, they shafted him royally, at least he had the good sense to cut and run! Fairly recently i was buying cell phone from local place with my American friend, 38, handsome and married with 2 children,they proceed to ask me in Ilocano about him which is quite normal, i jokingly said he`s my son and he wants wife, a pretty 20 ish girl politely told me she wanted one about 70 years old, very serious she was too, obviously i asked why so old, so when he dies me and the family get the pension! As for internet dating in general i would expect the success rate for longevity in a relationship to be lower than say brit to brit because of the cultural differences, and even among same cultures survival rates are pretty grim, don`t it seem odd that we all criticise people traffickers and abuse or treatment of women as objects to be owned or traded, yet we are repeatedly asked to aid and abet exactly the thing we criticize.

    • Mchristine077
      February 1, 2011 at 8:36 am

      …so when he dies me and the family get the pension!

      Talk about mercenary motives! But really, if you are pushing 70 and she just out of teens, do you really honestly believe that she loved your wrinkly face and balding head? Trouble is, you see so many websites mentioning that you can get Filipinas no matter what you looked like. And to a certain extent this is true. But how many really question the presence of motives? Or is this a reality being avoided?

  3. Tropicalpenpals
    February 1, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Interesting comments.. but I am not talking about the online scammers generally the girls I know have had local boyfriends that have played away from home even when they had kids. In some cases when the girl got pregnant the guys ran a mile. The 70 year old guy is not something I am talking about either as people I know are generally in my age group here and in the UK 30s. Most of my friends in the UK are professional males who suffer with workloads that have limited their ability to find a partner or caused the break ups. Both types of people are genuine neither a wife beating drunk male or a scamming Filipina both are people that have had their experiences in life and know what they are looking for. A prime example of this is a female friend who has met foreign guys and decided she didn’t like the ones she met. Previously she was in a relationship where the guy couldn’t commit to marriage and she’s looking for lifelong commitment (not anyone in the last few days btw this is over a year ago). Shes educated, got her own job and financially secure but fed up with the immaturity of local guys as she sees it. At the same time she doesn’t want a bolding, fat ugly guy either she’s looking for a soulmate and prepared to wait.

    Not exactly what I call trafficking :-/ as regards the older guys younger girls.. I don’t get involved in that at all. I do know of some people here married or in those types of relationships but often its mocked locally which many guys are oblivious to.

  4. February 3, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Matt, since 29 years (first time I met my wife during that time being a teacher of a high school class – all Filipinas!) I get such requests almost daily. Sad to say – I ignore them. I am sure, you and your readers here don’t need further explanations, why.

    • Tropicalpenpals
      February 3, 2011 at 9:44 am

      I agree in many situations its not worth the aggrevation but I am generally talking to women in their 30s and guys 35+ both are groups wise to the world and educated.

  5. Cerise Bianchi
    February 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Good thing I find this thread. I am a Filipina looking for a foreign husband. In my late 20’s, educated, have my own job, a mom of 2.
    The reason why I wanted a foreign guy is because I think they are more open minded and liberal compare to local man… I guess (only guess, i don’t know if this is a fact) foreign guys can easily accept me as a mother of 2. As well, I have number of friends married to foreign guys and it seems that everything is going smoothly with them; they have good life, good married life, nice country to live at etc….
    I never experienced the real relationship per se, and I am really dreaming to have it with a foreign man. However, I nearly give up on this, i’ve tried online dating, and it seems that guys out there have other intentions rather than getting a serious relationship at all… or maybe i haven’t found the guy for me yet….

  6. February 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Hi Cerise,
    to be honest online dating is a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack there are many chancers and perverts out there. Some want to meet the girl of their dreams but lack the financial ability to do so which narrows it down considerably. People like myself are probably less than 5% of people that would ever be on an online dating site and I was there by accident redoing a friends profile when I met my wife. Its hard to say how to catch a good one especially when so many girls are throwing themselves at guys feet. I own an internet cafe and see girls daily and girls that shouldn’t even be looking scouring the net. You get students 10 – 12 at a time arrive and sit there for 90 minutes when they come in looking for guys online yet most of them aren’t old enough either legally! A warning for guys! and for the girls be aware your probably better off trying to meet someone via your friends if they are married to foreigns already. Your friend knows you and no doubt her husband knows them.