Living on the edge

Its been literally months ( i dont even want to count how long) since I have been away from home and to be honest its done some good in a lot of ways as although the distance has made life very hard between me and my wife. It has reinstated why the UK isnt for me anymore. Dont get me wrong as the Philippines has its faults and its at complete opposites in many things. E.g. in the UK I generally find nothing is anyones fault so nothing ever improves especially when dealing with certain things such as management. Governments want to learn how to save money and improve services? Sack 70% of managers they do nothing anyway and add 30% more workers on the ground. In the Philippines I find nobody wants responsibility in most things because of risk of being blamed if it goes wrong. Come on guys lets meet somewhere in the middle for the good of mankind. Joking aside though I find the UK a very cold place these days everything is about money either those who have it or those who are struggling to find it. Without money you can easily become isolated but also the fact the people around me generally I rather just keep a professional stance. What once stood as my local friends (in Worcester) is pretty much down to one as nobody else gets in touch unless I contact them. Just tired maybe of friends who really arent friends and the good ones keep in touch but arent even in the same country. One thing I learned in a military upbringing is relying on yourself and most of the time I pretty much do. My family life at my parents has got worse over the years and its an odd thing going there these days as I feel sorry for my father living with my brothers and mother. I dont even know why he stays there anymore as they just cause him stress. If my dad ever reads this I personally think you should just sell up and get on with your life and be happy. The way things are there my brothers and mother wont change and they have been such a burden for so many years leave them to it. Just sell the house and do something with your life.

I may sound a bit down at the moment but its due to a simple factor this week was pretty bad on many levels and im glad its Friday tomorrow as its the end! just hope next week is a big improvement. Cant go into too much detail as some of the people I work with might read this entry. But in home life and work life I have been bombarded with problems lately im just switching off to it all and trying to concentrate on the road home. Its hard to believe that most of my time talking with my wife is in text as we rarely video chat or call but the words are uplifting just knowing April is there waiting for me to go home. There is a story in Hong Kong to do with a fisherwoman (think its a statue) that resides on the mountain overlooking the harbour facing out to sea. The story goes of a fisherman who drowned and the woman returned there everyday to await her husbands return from a journey he would never make. Thing is it makes me think of returning home as I would never expect anyone to do that for me. But knowing how me and April are I could see her waiting which is why I will always make it home regardless of what is happening. Its a realisation of life and what things are really worth to me as a person. I would like an Aston Martin but I would rather be at home sat chatting over breakfast with my wife. Who really is the rich man? The guy that counts the coins and looking for the next one.. or the guy who sits playing with his children and hugging his wife? I know which one I am and I know where I want to be. I love my wife and always will.