A Western guy with an asian girlfriend is often seen as a loser and a guy unable to carry off a relationship in the west. But i want to put my story here and several of the other people i know of..
Im a surveyor and a high earner.. i had a relationship that wasnt working for me and even though it wasnt working i stuck it out for many years in the hope things would recover. Truth is when your thinking on how to “save” a relationship its already pretty much doomed. A few things happend and eventually i called it a day. I was now single and wealthier than i had been in any other time of my life nothing holding me back.. finding a bank balance grow and a job that had a lot of prospects.. but was i happy?? simply yes.. i was single nice car, nice job and free to do what i want. I spent as much time with my daughter as possible and things were going well.. I met April online and we became friends quickly. April had a good job and pretty content with life in the Philippines although keen to travel. We were both in relationships of some description at this time. So stayed friends for most of the year. A few events happend we both became single and after a bit of time we started to become a couple and eventually i flew out to the Philippines and we got married and the rest is history.. Both of us are well educated.. Neither of us struggle to get admirers and April is more into being practical than Prada and Mercedez…
Friends of mine i wont add names.. but its a story ive heard many times from many people and writing this i can think of at least 5 people who will think its about them personally but its a general description..they are in the 50+ year bracket of life either a widow or left a marriage that they woke up one morning and thought what am i doing here? My wifes a nightmare either via spending,affairs or other means.. but the results all the same they had a wake up call. Divorcees found themselves lonely looking to rebuild a life after a partner had gone but ultimately they wanted a change and a big one..
So what happens? Most headed to the Philippines via friends,holidays or just started looking online for someone mainly for curiousity.. finding a life partner isnt like going into a mall and thinking “i know what, ill get a wife today”. Its time consuming with a rollercoaster of emotions.. eventually they land in the Philippines and as many say it takes at least 10 years off you. For me its a destress i find my headaches and stress gone as soon as i see the islands.. a warm smile comes to my face. But getting back to the guys. Many are on fixed pensions and also realise that life in the Philippines doesnt only mean your respected by younger people but the fact people want to know you, want to talk to you.. they enjoy your company. They normally find a filipina who is generally younger (but not always) but you find most of these relationships are happy and content.. and why ? because the guy if hes sensible realises what he has, he has been given a new life.. a life that in the West would be a younger mans life or dream. A beautiful woman and a pension or income that stretches well beyond his country of origins ability.. Waking up to sunshine and smiles each day. So whats wrong with this ???
This is where the title comes into play.. many guys end up with grumpy ex wives.. the laws in most countries in the west are biast towards the females and its destroying many of the old family units. Your a guy you get a bag of clothes and the cost of children until theyre old enough for work (murderers get less time!). The female gets the house,car and an allowance from the ex. She can choose to work or not doesnt really matter shes got it made!
So why the stigma about the guys being a loser? Well it comes from the fact how many exs are happy to see theyre ex husband doing well?? How many like to see a woman 20yrs younger and half her weight on the arm of the ex husband? What about knowing your in a cold wet country and only knowing the life youve done for the last 20yrs+ when your ex is now living in the tropics with a beautiful wife, house and within walking distance of the beach?? Truth is the ex wife is the one who has lost.. she may sit on a pot of gold reminding me of a dragon sat on coins in a cold damp cave.. but she feels she has been made a fool.. who wants an ex husband to be happy!! How dare he.. show how much his life improved after the break up!! so in return the ex wife will make it difficult for the guy to see his kids when home (if not doing before he even left for Asia). Then when he eventually does look to leave the guilt comes on how much the kids will miss him etc etc. yet the truth is they were struggling to see the kids anyway.. being abroad they are likely to generate more income and maybe even put a nest egg away for the kids.. which would be impossible in the home country..
The Jelous guys ive seen this from a distance.. a friend of mine has a wife who is from Thailand.. they work hard for what theyve got and he goes home every night.. he doesnt go to the pub with his friends anymore but his friends joke that hes under the thumb with his wife while sat drinking in the pub.. So whos wrong here? Hes gone home to a cooked meal his wifes prepared after doing a long day herself and they are content being together.. or the guys in the bar bitching about he is under the thumb..where is theyre wives?
Well to be honest with you most are now single they left.. others have marital problems and either way if your life orintates round a group of friends bitching about others in a bar each night what really is your life who is the loser here???
Its part of life having people complain about others but the truth is i find the Philippines, Filipinos, Retirees and guys who goto the Philippines or married to filipinas get a raw deal.. But then again if someone complains they dont have to value theyre own life..