Finding love is so complicated as an expat in the Philippines so why bother?

Truth of the matter is there are a lot of great women out there who are looking for a loyal, loving husband who can bring stability to their lives. If your an older generation then your probably right that money is a major factor but its the time you are together that things can change “for better or worse”. I look at the people I know who have been burned by Filipina’s either via financial or some other form and I have yet to meet one who gave up on finding the right woman for themselves in the Philippines. Because when you do life is a solid balance of being content and happy. Doesn’t mean it will be an easy road but the journey is worth it. There are a lot of expats who have problems here and a lot of it is to do with family issues, finances and attitudes. The family issues often appear because in Filipino society the kids are expected to look after the parents as they get older. What this often means when a foreigner is involved is he is expected to take care of the parents and everyone else! Simply don’t get involved anymore than you feel you want to. As although this is the Philippines I am quick to point out I’m a “foreigner” and not a Filipino meaning my culture is different. Its the same excuse some Filipinos will use when they try to over charge you “you can afford it your a foreign”. Its a two way street. Because if you don’t put your foot down from day one you will find it very hard to stop the flow of cash. We haven’t had that problem personally infact we work more as a co-op helping each other eventually the results will be shared but you will find a lot of relatives have no interest in work. I was very lucky with my in-laws.

Financial and family issues normally run hand in hand as well as things like affording to come to the Philippines annually. Its why we decided personally for April not to come to the UK. it was a purely financial decision the apartments and other ideas simply wouldn’t have developed if April was with me in the UK due to having to buy/rent a home and all the expensive living associated in the UK. A lot of planning ahead is needed if you want to secure a happy and content life but that is all part of the fun.

Attitude can be a major problem as I have noticed over time people don’t like to make mistakes. So telling them its done wrong they might not do anything else for you or the other famous one is “we waited until you got home” which then leaves you to make the decision. But often that can be literally months as they wont tell you there is a problem either as they don’t want you worrying about things while you are abroad. Tampo is also something that is unique to the Philippines and can result in a tantrum where your partner won’t talk to you etc. I haven’t had this issue but  I know other expats who when they have an argument their wife ignores them for a day.. something I know may annoy other people.

So with a lot of negatives why bother? truthfully life couldn’t be happier for us as we have several businesses my wife is hard working and keen to support any ventures we do. As well as a loving and caring wife. Keen to make the home her domain allows me to develop things outside. Its an important factor many people have forgotten in the West. There is nothing wrong with being the home maker or being the bread winner. But if you look at your life with your last/present partner how often do you go to work annoyed and still annoyed by the time you get back from work because that dispute has been on your mind all day? I spent years like that with my ex as she had a natural ability to annoy everyone. Now I can’t remember the last time I was annoyed at anything because simply work life and home life shouldn’t interfere with each other and a happy home will often make a successful business/work life. Because your demands are in being the support of financial needs for the family while your wife is responsible for keeping the home in harmony. Before someone posts about Women’s rights its that mentality that has fragmented the West the husband and wife has been round for thousands of years and Women’s rights and feminist attitudes has destroyed it. Keep your “rights” as I will happily stay out here in the East.

0 comments for “Finding love is so complicated as an expat in the Philippines so why bother?

  1. iskolares
    March 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    Sir, this is a sad reality in the Philippines. I hate to say this but “most” Pinays “devour” on their foreign boyfriend/husband.

    But this is how things go in the Philippines. “Close Family Ties” as they may call it. I am not generalizing on all Pinays married to foreigners.