In the last 3 years I have watched most relationships that are abroad based, people going back to the husbands home country fall apart. But several that have stuck together and happy I notice are a completely different type of marriage. So just wondering if Filipina’s get a good deal on marrying a foreigner as often its a damned if they do and damned if they divorce scenario.
The reason being most guys here are on wife 2+ in fact many are on 4+ they meet a girl they get married and then everything seems to slow down. The big problem is often the woman has been fed on dreams and expectations yet the guy she’s just married hasn’t got the potential or ability to fufill them. I know many guys would say tough luck but its also more likely these guys would be the ones in the divorce when they got to other shores. The truth of the matter is I don’t think most people take the time to explain the contrasts in life and the fact they aren’t only not rich but in many cases in the West they are nearer the bottom rungs of the ladder. But that’s ok she only married him for his money right? (damned if you do and damned if you don’t). Because many do but it doesn’t mean all and the women I have met over the years are all just looking for stable, honest, reliable husbands who can put food on the table they’re standards are pretty low when it comes to finding a guy as they have been locked into being poor most of they’re lives already only way out is marriage. At the same time I do ponder some of the guys they meet as many aren’t the sort of guys I would allow near my daughters that’s for sure.
At the same time I have come across what I would call professional scammers as they don’t get to the marrying stage they just promise it. During the pre-marriage term is the best time they make their money by getting an apartment,land,property paid for by the guy who’s marrying the girl of his dreams yet destined to be his worst nightmare and humiliation. People ask me how do these people sleep at night I call it being Christian or at least they’re version as you can go and repent your sins and all is forgotten and off for a swift cup of coco before bed. You see a lot of Filipinos think its perfectly fine to steal from a foreigner but then again they often steal from each other or in the case of land disputes have been known to murder different members of family. Doesn’t make everyone a bad person by the way but I do find it in the newspapers here a lot more than I have seen anywhere else. At the same time scammers are a different breed of person who will justify everything on “I am poor”, “ I have children to feed” and another string of excuses to justify theft.
But getting away from the scammers and just talking about people living in the Philippines as they seem to get the worst end of the stick in many cases. How this works is many people end up co-habiting or marrying but everything remains in the guys control which up to a point is fair. Having a girlfriend I would say my money is mine etc. but after marriage its a companionship based on trust and relationship building, I know some people are already thinking but that’s mad I can’t trust my wife! and I would say why did you get married then? Because more often than not the woman will be left with nothing after the death of the guy who is more often than not 3 x her age. Well maybe left with no money, funeral arrangements and kids to feed but all in all no way to support herself as her time was spend round her husband instead of finishing education or doing something that could have build a future for her and her children in the event when the husband died.