Crab Mentality in the Philippines?

I mentioned before about the land in the town that will likely still be an empty lot until the people own it die. Similar has happened here near where we live where the last remaining members of a family died with the land just being a vacant lot for generations due to rivalry between siblings. Funny thing is Minglanilla is in the middle of a lot of changes with new stores opening up and lots of new construction going on. That would make the lot the perfect time to sell as the prices are at a premium but we all know that isn’t going to happen.

Today was a new turn in the twist of things that have happened previously regarding relatives and in particular one person. A few months ago the same person said they would block the entrance so we would have to make another entrance. Not that we really care as our Jeepy will hopefully be sold off and on route to Bohol by the end of the week and the multi cab hey if they block it in more fool them as they will have to get it out at some point as I can’t get it started and can afford to abandon it if they get the wall up.

So what is the dispute about and why is it crab mentality?

wall being builtBasically its nothing more than pure jealousy the apartments have gone up on Aprils parents place, our neighbour has just started a row of 3 houses and where we live our rental is another relative with 3 apartments as well. Crab mentality has left one group of people lagging behind their kin as everyone else has just got on with life and put some effort in to improve it.

This morning I arrived to find the first holes being built to block off the entrance to Aprils parents lot as you can see its just clipped over a foot off the road and “we” use motorcycles and have another location that we live. Bitterness and crab mentality goes a long way yet none of it affects us and goes to show how much it does annoy and stew in the bellies of the people who thought they could ride on my coat but gave it all away earlier due to trying to exploit the situation to the point now I can agree with a lot of Foreigners who say “don’t live near the family” as crab mentality always shines through and here is a perfect example. Aprils parents are fine same as our neighbours who are distant relatives but the aunts and uncles have pretty much tried to make life difficult and squeeze money from the foreigner.. Unlucky for them I prepared for it before I even arrived which is why I threw a few bread crumbs to see if they disappeared and they did at which point we moved. For those cronies thinking they have achieved something today we are here “temporary” as we are relocating once we established a new location. What is going to happen though is the wall is going to annoy the entire neighbourhood “not us” as there are a lot of vehicles that pass on that road who now will struggle to get home. But then again the aunt involved never cared about anyone else before why would she bother now?

25 comments for “Crab Mentality in the Philippines?

  1. September 7, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Hey Matt, where exactly you live in Minglanilla? I find your story here interesting. You know, what you are saying is really true. I agree… And one last thing, I just learned it today it’s called crab mentality…

    • Tropicalpenpals
      September 7, 2010 at 8:31 am

      Im just in Upper Calajo-an as you pass the bakeshop look to the right there will be a field and a power/telephone pole with a sign saying “call cherry (lot for sale)” as you pass that there is a dirt track on the right follow it round and you can’t miss the netcafe.

      • September 7, 2010 at 8:55 am

        Okay… one day I will visit the place… I really don’t have much time to tour Minglanilla these days… It’s just near from our place, as well as my sister’s… If you don’t mind, how’s your internet cafe going?

        • Tropicalpenpals
          September 7, 2010 at 9:36 am

          The internet cafe is doing well also doing computer upgrades/repairs as well as selling new and second user machines. Can’t grumble as I know others aren’t doing so well.. pop by when you have time 🙂

    • Tropicalpenpals
      September 7, 2010 at 8:31 am

      Im just in Upper Calajo-an as you pass the bakeshop look to the right there will be a field and a power/telephone pole with a sign saying “call cherry (lot for sale)” as you pass that there is a dirt track on the right follow it round and you can’t miss the netcafe.

  2. david
    September 7, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Been there,but at least they did not murder any one,unlike Julie`s nephew,Jealousy seems to be the main motive,but hey who cares,i refuse to sink to their level. We have a new Place and at long last a reasonably well finished house.In the end ,they lost because all they have now is about 100 sq metres between the three families ,where as we have a 1,000 sq metres to ourselves.

    • Tropicalpenpals
      September 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

      Your the same way we are heading they mess around in little patches where I am currently looking at hectares of farming for various projects. The only real issue is the interference on Aprils parents as they like to keep these things amongst themselves as they don’t like it being known to the public exactly what these people are like ok to screw people over in private but publically people see them for what they are.. you took the best route and one I will be following simply to leave them to wallow in their own self pity and bitterness and move on to pastures new. No interference will always lead to prosperity as it seems so many people are held back by their relatives.

      • September 7, 2010 at 10:02 am

        yeah we bent over backwards being nice and trying to help them,julie already had bought a Jeepney and we bought another,but it just caused them to be jealous of each other,then when we found out they were cheating us and pocketing an unequal share of the hire,s we switched nephews but always the problem remaind untill finally the nephew and his conuctor,committed double murder and abandoned our jeepney in San Pablo.Laguna,besides which our builders also screwed us over pretty good, i have had death threats by the nephew,because his wife ran off with an aussie.from other expats ,i have found out this is pretty much a regular occurence.

        • Tropicalpenpals
          September 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

          Its more common than people realise.. its partly why Tropicalpenpals exists in the first place as I noticed too much of the “live like a king in the Philippines” and less of how much people have lost over the years and mainly due to relatives or swindled out of money with the wives.. either way it would be good for the groups that did lose out to openly admit it and put more information online for people to learn that not everything is cosy or greener on the other side. Rivalry and greed are two major things that hold back a lot of the Philippines from developing and things we as foreigners should avoid as much as possible. One thing we can say is “yep we are foreigners! its your problem..” and that’s how I am starting to look at things will no doubt help others who want to help themselves but this part of the family no longer exists as far as im concerned.

          • September 7, 2010 at 10:23 am

            I feel the same way,just dont want know.,i avoid them all all like the plaque.

          • Tropicalpenpals
            September 7, 2010 at 10:35 am

            Got some good Filipino friends here so will say its not “ALL” Filipinos but when you get a bad bitter old one then its nothing but a constant irritant because unlike us she has nothing better to do with her life except annoy people to make some worth in her life.

          • September 7, 2010 at 10:44 am

            Your right,Julie sisters husband has always helped us a lot,as has every member of his family but they have all worked abroad so have a different outlook.

          • davidrke54
            September 9, 2010 at 5:41 am

            I dident exactly expect to live like royalty but certainly didnt expect to be practically reduced to abject poverty,which is how we have been living since 1993 up till last year when we were finally able to sell the old house.

  3. Rene Reroma
    September 7, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Very undesirable! Exchanging a human mentality for a crab’s? I’ve had plenty of similar experiences, but I don’t pay much attention to them. Don’t let them affect your good efforts. Move on. Good luck!

  4. Anne
    September 8, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Anne Rodriguez Me too experience on that- I very sad- I leave my house!

    • September 9, 2010 at 5:27 am

      Know how you feel ,we had to move to Castillejos in zambales for 5 years

  5. Princess Burbos
    September 8, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    If it is a public road, somebody should report to the authorities because there is a required easement from the road to a solid structure. If they are building a wall or a fence, fencing permit from the office of the building official in Minglanilla is required. If they own the lot which is now used as road by the people at the back, then it needs diplomatic negotiation with lot owner.

  6. Princess Burbos
    September 8, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Crabs tend to crawl up together if they find a wall or something where they can go up. They all seem to be in a hurry and in the process they pull down the others ahead of them so that they can reach the top first. Many people are like crabs, always in a hurry to reach the top not knowing that by pulling the one on top who is also pulling the one ahead of him, together all of them will go down to the bottom and will have to start climbing again. Is this happening in the Philippines only?

  7. Rene Reroma
    September 8, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Most people are like crabs; but there are exceptions – Princess and I and some others.

    • September 9, 2010 at 5:25 am

      Rene.I agree,in fact most filipino`s i have met are ok,the only real problem is always other relatives ,everyone else is usually ok

  8. Princess Burbos
    September 8, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Yes, Rene. Not all people have crab mentality because if it is, there will will be standstill. No progress. Magsige lang ug sugod. In my opinion, people like this although many but only a small portion of the populace, so YOU, Me (I hope I have not untentionally be a crab) and many others are exceptions.

  9. Tropicalpenpals
    September 8, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Crab mentality is in other societies as well but generally its from backgrounds of poor upbringing where they will grab hold of someone on the rise up to try and take whatever they can. Not sure if its done in the intention of dragging them… back down in the same way as crabs do but one thing is for sure generally it ends up with a result of either the person cuts off from their family or they give up trying. For us I already gave up on this part of the family as they have done things since I arrived in December 2007. They assume they are getting at us but at the end of the day we expect then to act like playground children and when kids do it the best thing is just to completely ignore them as they want to create a problem. But if ignored they can’t do anything about it as they need something to feed up.

  10. Tropicalpenpals
    September 8, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Btw its not all Filipinos but if you pick any foreigner here they can tell you situations where it happens. Originally I thought Aprils relatives were nice and looking to progress but then you find the one rotton apple is half a barrel and simply better to just cut them out of our lives than constantly be pestered.

  11. davidrke54
    September 9, 2010 at 5:33 am

    By the way, just noticed my blog address is wrong,it should read as http://evadekoore54912.blogspot.com

  12. Tropicalpenpals
    September 9, 2010 at 8:00 am

    Go into your Disqus settings should be able to alter it there 😉 (I cant as i dont control the accounts)