Can long distance relationships work?

I am often told how they are doomed to fail or they can’t work but I have now been married 7 years and it all started with a long distance relationship. But also continued to be one right up until last month!

I spend a lot of time away from home working either in the UK or other countries while my wife and kids remained in the Philippines. Although this year was the plunge as we have moved to Europe as the kids are getting at school age.

Its funny to think this all started way back in 2007 with my friend Vango randomly that resulted in an email to April and here we are 7 years on and into our anniversary in a couple of days. A lot of good times have passed, a lot of struggles and strains of being apart. But we have come through it and I couldn’t say I would want to change anything. Because what got us here was all the sacrifices we made over the years and in the Philippines we started with a small 1 bedroom rented place. Now have 6 apartments a call centre, 4×4, motorbike and a lot of other things for a life we will return to in Cebu later.

But also here in Spain the foundations are beginning to develop and a new chapter begun although this will still be a distance relationship of sorts as I work away Monday to Friday once work kicks back in. The difference is now I will be home on a Friday night and on the quiet weeks when I can work from home.

Where I find a lot of relationships do breakdown though is in trust as a doubt in a relationship plants other ideas and creates problems that may not be there. I have seen it in other relationships and several I have helped salvage due to many of the issues being cultural in the Philippines. The main thing with long distance relationships is both parties need to understand your in it for the long haul and it won’t be easy. If your thinking I will try it and see what happens the chances are you’ve already given space to things falling apart. Commit and keep to those commitments in the same way marriage should still be committed to.

I for one know long distance relationships work and I know a long list of people happily married and together which all began with  web dating or introductions via friends. Ultimately though you need to know that it all depends on the two people being committed to each other as much as possible with trust. But also with time zones and daily life don’t bind each other to computers etc. as doing that just drains both of you emotionally and physically.

It can be done though and if your serious about a relationship with someone overseas  I say start as friends and let it develop. If your together and one of you is going back overseas prepare for the times apart. Do you both have good internet? webcams? etc. but also sending letters is just as important for something more physical whilst apart especially on birthdays etc.