Are all Filipinas virgins before marriage? I seen this cartoon when looking for something else to do with Muslims being promised virgins in heaven for suicidal acts. But then I stopped and thought this is just as true with many guys coming to the Philippines. Promised a woman of purity that will love and care for them without regard for themselves. Working 12 hours a day then coming home to wipe the brow of their man. Someone who can only see Brad Pitt when they look at their husbands bulging beer belly and balding head and see the six pack and the Hollywood smile..
I think two sets of people are being sold the same myth in different ways. Often provincial girls are brought up in a way that virginity is still sacred at the same time depends on what part of society your moving in circles with. For example a friend down in Mindanao was telling me about it being common in his area for girls of 13 to have children which obviously is well below marrying age. At the same time city dwellers are becoming heavily westernized and what comes with that is sexual freedoms which is why there seems to be an alarming rate climb of STDs between employees in call centers as they engage in casual sex. Partly down to the social problems of working nights etc.
Where am I going with this? well the problem is too many myths exist about the Philippines and the sanctity of virginity as its seen as the preserving of family before marriage. But the problem is as many people will tell you that often women are talked into engaging into sex or wanting to engage themselves with someone they are looking to settle down with who then if the bells ring of “pregnancy” they often disappear. Its one of the most common stories in the Philippines I have heard from single women. Even minding my own business buying some T shirts I got a “sir, do you have any friends here looking for a wife?”. Which is something I wouldn’t hear back in the UK for example unless one of my friends had actually lost his wife somewhere in a mall. But as the attendant (yes she worked there) followed me round she explained about how her boyfriend who she was going to marry she had fallen pregnant by him but shortly after found out he had another girlfriend in the next village as well in a similar state. He disappeared shortly after that, the girl though went on to tell me how she wished she could be with her child as her mother now cared for the child while she worked in the mall sending money back to the provinces to take care of the child’s daily needs. Thing is many of the girls you come across on sites that are single, never married and without children are often married, separated and have 1 – 2 kids. Which many foreigners send regular Western Union payments to their girlfriends without even knowing her past or in fact her real life.
May sound a bit negative but the point is not to take things at face value as life is often more complicated than it seems and only by keeping your guard up do you notice the small cracks which open up to the truth on many things. Some things you won’t know about purely because its seen as “family issues” and as your not part of the family in a sibling way you won’t know that other things are going on out of sight.