Its funny how in the last two weeks I start to worry about forgetting something. You know that feeling when you jump in the car and driving somewhere and thinking I know there is something I forgotten. Thats how im feeling at the moment and not sure why. It could be that this year has been a bumpy road or simply that there is something I havent done yet. One thing im sure of is Nicole has grown up a lot and seems a lot more distant than we used to be not sure if its because shes rapidly becoming a teenager or the fact my ex has sorted herself out a new man. Either way I hope things work out as family is always important to me even when some of the members can be a headache.
Work is getting a lot slower than I would like but still there and still keeping the wheels turning until my replacement starts next week which to be honest he should have an easy run of things as I have worked hard to cut his workload down to the minimum to give him a chance to find his feet. I wasnt so lucky when I arrived but then again I think I thrive on chaos as it gives me something to achieve. Ive never been one for a factory job or an office, always preferred crazy deadlines and long hours. But as ive got older you start to become aware of the fact its the same work patterns that I love that could put me in a nice shiny pine box. So for that and many other reasons its time to go home while my wife still remembers what I look like and also to spend some time with Zoei who is growing everyday. Its funny as I have got older my life revolves round family more and more simply because they will be the mark left when im gone which makes me a bit of an obsessive protector but I suppose most fathers feel the same way.
Plans for when im home are starting to run through my head as usual but with a limited budget I need to get some of the smaller ones going first to expand from. Im hoping we can develop some of the ideas into a bigger budget as I would like to do something constructive with other projects Im toying with some new ideas which are more scientific than the other things I normally get up to and hopefully they will work as I would love to get some of these ideas into the shanty towns and not see a line of rusty roofs but corn and other crops shining in the sunlight across the landscape. There was someone who said to me once its not for me to change the Philippines and he was right its not. But it is for me to help others learn and develop the world around themselves it may not create jobs but it could create a start to a better life. Its been a bit of a curse throughout my life feeling that I have failed others not sure why but its what drives me everyday and keeps me awake at night. Will see where the ideas take me and no doubt it will be worth reading and hopefully others pickup valuable information they can put to good use as well.